Basicwomen's Blog

By –

Nidarshana Sharma

Balancing between the Motherhood and CareerIt is every woman’s dream to marry and have a beautiful family. She aspires to be a good mother to her children and give them all the happiness in the world and spend time with them.

However, lately there has been a surge in the number of women working and pursuing a serious career. They don’t have time for anything else but their work. Their lives center around their workplace and everything else becomes secondary. Though, women are largely known to be good multi-taskers, they’re unable to.

In such a scenario, how can a woman be a good mother to her children? An increasing percentage of women rely on nannies, governesses and creches to take care of their children. But nothing or nobody can be substitute for a mother. Often, children in such cases, feel neglected and ignored. This affects their esteem and confidence. As a result, they become defensive and aggressive.

Today, a number of husbands are taking the initiative and supporting their busy wives. They don’t mind staying at home and spending time with their children. But there are still a lot of men, who believe the wife must watch over the kids.

A few tips to maintain the right balance between your job and your family

  • Time management is the key. It is very important to maintain a schedule and work according to it.
  • Don’t bring much of your office work home. It can be a spoiler.
  • When at home, spend as much time talking to your children and helping them out with their school work.
  • Make sure the children are engaged in some activity but at the same time also are not hard-pressed for time.
  • Play a lot of games with your family, both indoor and outdoor.
  • You could sometimes take them to your workplace. Some offices do have a separate cabin for children of working women and they can spend time with other children.
  • Hire a maid to do the household chores. This will give you more time with the kids.

In addition, take your children out. Socialize, meet your friends and relatives frequently and keep your children around people often.

More women these days are okay with taking time off work for a few months and taking care of their children. Once the child has settled into the groove, they gradually resume their work. This shift, though a risky one, is now being widely accepted.



{November 11, 2010}   HOW TO INCULCATE ETHICS IN KIDS ?

by – Sadhana Chaturvedi

Everyone wants their kids to grow up to be fine citizens of the country, of the world. To make sure that this happens, parents mustHOW TO INCULCATE ETHICS IN KIDS take up the responsibility of inculcating ethics in their kids from their early days. To the first child parents, this task seems to be quite daunting , but just learn from the experienced parents.When you think back, it is your parents who taught you how to love, so be assured that you can do the same for your child. There is no definite “method” as such to teach ethics to kids. It should be gradual and by way of example and constant attention to your child.
All religions preach the same moral values, so if you want to initiate your kids to your religion, talk to them about it. Tell them interesting stories from your holy books. Take them along when you go to your place of worship.

Kids learn the most from someone who they look up to, love and who they are around always, YOU. Display good ethics and be just in whatever it is that you do. Teach by way  of example. This is the best way to show your kids how to take the right, moral decisions from a young age. It would be pointless if you tell your child to answer the phone and “Tell whoever it is  I’m not home”  while you’re preaching to them about honesty.

Monitor your child’s activities. Whenever they’re doing something wrong, tell them so. Make it clear to them  that you do not approve of such things. Don’t let them watch cartoons or television programs unsuited for their age. At the same time, reward your child when they do something right. This gives them an incentive to do the right thing always, and it gradually becomes a habit.

Some times, kids really don’t know better and they take to lying. It may be about small inconsequential things or bigger things, and they may even think they are just jokes. Some children are unsure of the difference between lying and telling funny stories. Explain to your child that lying is any tale made up either to impress others or keep from getting into trouble and often creates more problems than just being honest. Help your child to understand that lying is not a good trait and hurts people’s feelings.

If your child continues to lie, help him learn through consequences. Use punishments to coincide with lies. When your child lies to you or others, give him punishments like lessening their favourite activity’s time or for younger children, time-outs.  On the other hand, if your child is honest with you, reward him. Tell him how proud you are that he told you the truth and give him something he enjoys such as time with you, movie night, or even out for ice cream.

Talk to your child about their daily activities, and if they are doing anything wrong, or if they’re confused about what to do, guide them along. Yelling will get you no where, even if your kids are very young. Discuss with them what they’re doing is wrong and why it is wrong and how they can rectify it.

There are many children’s books in the market which teach kids about honesty, sharing and caring through a series of beautiful illustrations and simple words. Encourage your kids to read them, or read them out your self at bed time so that they get a good bed-time story and some good moral values!

by – Nidarshana Sharma

How to identify if your child has an inferiority complex?We all want our children to be self-confident and content. We want them to make good friends and learn from others. We want them to interact with people of different backgrounds so that they understand others better. We want them to sharpen their skills and constantly improvise and strive to be the best. In a nutshell, we want our children to stand out and be a winner.

Quite unfortunately, while most of us know what we want of our children, often we fail to realize how they can go about getting to the top. We do recognize that our child must be encouraged to open up but we don’t see how we can do it. Being a winner is not just about building your strengths, but it also means identifying and rectifying your weaknesses. As a parent, how can you ensure that your child is walking on the right path? You need to analyze your child’s core weaknesses and help him/her overcome them.

Many children have many different kinds of shortcomings. One could be short-tempered and the typical tantrum-throwing child, while the other could simply be disinterested in everything. The most problematic among these is breeding an inferiority complex.

What is an inferiority complex? It is a feeling in one’s mind that he/she is inferior to others in some way. It is natural for us to feel inferior to some people due to various reasons. But an inferiority complex is an extended feeling of discouragement which is not easy to overcome. Often when we feel inferior, we compensate for it by working harder and pushing ourselves to the brim to achieve something. This gives a feeling of accomplishment and we feel good and confident about ourselves. But a person who suffers from a complex may not be in the right state of mind to walk that extra mile to prove himself/herself. In the process, he/she might start pretending to be very confident or just get into a shell.

An inferiority complex could have many causes. A child may be a victim of domestic or emotional abuse. Also before a child turns six, they has very high retention power. Whatever the child is taught then, he/she grows up to remember that. If you reprimand your child regularly or taunt/ mock him/her or constantly point out his/her shortcomings, it is likely that the child feels low about himself/herself. Sometimes, a physical or a mental defect is also a reason to feel inferior. Many a time, social factors also play a role. A girl child who is constantly shunned for being so, may grow up to be very timid and meek.

As parents, we must make sure that however our child is, we must encourage him/her and never let him/her down. Nobody in this world is perfect and we have no right to remind others of their weaknesses when we ourselves are filled with many. If your child is very submissive or scared to talk or socialize then you know that he/she needs to get rid of that inferiority complex. Similarly, if your child is too aggressive or rebellious or over-confident, talk to them her and explain the importance of being confident and sure. Humility and politeness are two traits that you must master and also teach your children. Listen to your children, let them do their own thing, show them cartoons or read to them stories about bravery and boldness. Teach them to be straightforward and open. Be nice to them and never discourage them. Do not call them names but be as positive as you can. When your child is surrounded by a cheerful and positive environment, they will surely be infected by it and be a star!

{November 11, 2010}   How to handle a toddler?

by – Nidarshana Sharma

Toddlers are the most entertaining lot of children. They are too young to know much and slightly old to be babies. But they sure areHow to handle a toddler very smart kids. They also are the ones who create havoc wherever they go. Scribbling on the walls, pouring juice over your favourite upholstery, they’ll do whatever they wish to.

Most toddlers are not just highly spirited and energetic but also eager to learn. They love listening to any kind of story, whether real or fictitious. Some of them also enjoy talking and sharing their experiences with us. The worst part of having a toddler around is, some toddlers can be very troublesome when they’re upset about something.

As parents, you need to work hard to keep your toddler happy and secure. Give them more attention especially if you’re away the whole day. Let them meet more people of your family, your friends, colleagues etc. A better way of knowing relatives or even your parents is showing them photographs of everyone , especially before their visit.

Be clear and consistent with the rules you’ve set for them . If lunch time is at 12:30, then they must eat everyday in time. You cannot relax that rule so as to watch T.V.If execused for one day they may demand for an extension every day.

Show your love for them .Cuddle them before they go to sleep. Kiss them off to school. Play with them. This way they will feel loved and that will reassure them.

Sometimes, toddlers love doing things on their own. So let them make their own sandwich or let them write on their own. Though it might be messy, the sense of independence and achievement that they will experience is priceless.

Keep their weaknesses in mind. If your toddler is very messy at the table, then it’s advisable not to go to a restaurant. Plan a picnic instead- get in other families and their kids so that your toddler can enjoy their  food, in the true sense.

Understand their feelings. Sometimes, we have to stay at a certain place and toddlers can become impatient. Try reasoning with them. Tell them you don’t want to stay either but that it is important. While you can’t expect them to understand immediately, it’ll help you empathize with your child.

Make sure to reward them  for good behaviour. If you’ve promised your kid that extra scoop of double choco-chip ice-cream for spending less time at the bath tub, then keep your word . If they behave well at a friend’s house or if not  make sure you let them know.

Don’t expect them to support you in your routine every day. From day care and then back home and again to the store in the evening can take a toll on your toddler. It is okay if you make slight alterations in your routine for them.

Make sure to take care of yourself in the process. When you’re toddler is sleeping, go, take a nap or a bubble bath instead of washing the dishes. Only if you’re healthy ,you can take good care of your child.

{November 11, 2010}   How to boost your kid’s IQ?

How to boost your kid's IQAll of us want our children to be smart and intelligent. We want them to outshine everybody else in all fields possible. It is natural for us to participate in their attempts to better themselves. Though it is said that intelligence is inborn, it can also be acquired through other means.

An excellent measure of intelligence is the Intelligence Quotient or IQ. Most of us have an IQ of just about 100 which is considered average intelligence. An IQ of over 150 indicates an extraordinary level of intelligence. If your child’s IQ is built at a tender age, he/she can grow up to be a highly intelligent individual. We all have multiple intelligences. This will explain why some of us are so logically gifted and some of us are so poetic. Only a very few people on this planet have high multiple intelligences.

Intelligence can be gained or obtained by sharpening the mind. A good memory or impressive problem-solving skills are indicators of intelligence.

How can you improve your child’s IQ?

1. Make your child play games like chess. Chess is all about strategizing and outwitting your opponent. It involves some serious thinking, reasoning and analysis. A game of chess will surely improve your child’s logical and analytical skills. Moreover, every game of chess is different. This will help your child to perceive the problem in different ways and formulate different approaches to the same problem.
2. Puzzles and quizzes are also great ways to sharpen your child’s mind. Memory games will enhance your child’s memory. On the whole, games that require your child to think will improve your child’s mental skills far more than simple skill games, which focus more on hand to eye coordination.
3. Your child requires a minimum of eight hours of sleep every day. After a day of mind games and studies, it is imperative for your child to sleep so that he retains everything he has learnt in his mind. Lack of sleep will weaken one’s power to recall.
4. Speak to your child about anything and everything. This will improve his language skills and his general knowledge.
5. Ensure that your child reads some concept books. Books which contain information on basic kindergarten stuff or books for slightly older children which bring out interesting and fun facts or even simple puzzle books are great for building up your child’s brain.
6. Include simple math in your conversations. Stuff like dinner will be ready in 10 minutes, so what time should you be at the dining table, or, you have four cookies now and I’m going to give you three more, will get your kid thinking.
7. Let your child solve his problems. If he is getting late for school every day, let him work out a solution.
8. Encourage your child to paint and do other arty things. Always keep some craft material ready. You will enjoy your child’s lovely creation of art.

Let your child be and engage him in fun activities. It is important for him to play too. Playing or outdoor activity will also contribute to his mental growth.

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