Basicwomen's Blog

{September 28, 2010}   commanding Vs.loving your children

Commanding vs loving

Commanding vs loving

It is natural for all of us to pamper and spoil our children and shower them with affection. Buying them gifts, playing and spending time with them is something which we all await after a long day’s work. Some people take their children out to the park; some others watch TV with them while some others read them stories. Whatever may be the activity, it sure is the perfect way to unwind after a stressful day.

Some of us are quite lenient with our children. We tend to be flexible with their food, or their sleeping time, while some others are very strict with their kids. It is necessary that we be strict with them, but not always. It is also important to treat them in a tender manner.

Children are usually sensitive and often do not like it when they’re scolded. They start thinking that their parents dislike them as they are too young to understand otherwise. It is very essential that we be patient with them and talk politely, yet sternly. Children must be told of circumstances of misbehaving. For instance, you could make up an interesting story about a boy who refused to eat food on time and what happened of him after that. This is negative motivation, where you’re motivating them to eat by mentioning the harm of not eating food. You could also tell them the advantages of eating a wholesome meal and how much they will benefit out of it. This will ensure that they learn good habits and realize their worth.

Even certain values and morals can be taught to them in a similar manner. Stories are a great way to teach children. Most children also emulate their own parents. They like to behave just like their parents do. So it is very important to control our emotions when around our children. Hitting or scolding your child will not serve any purpose. Your child may behave himself/herself properly, but only out of fear. After a point of time, your child may even become immune and may just get out of control. Patience is a must when dealing with children.

Some children are extraordinarily violent and rebellious. They may become so either due to unnecessary pressure by parents or even others. We must make sure that we don’t become very harsh with our children. Put yourselves in their shoes and look at the world from their eyes. Children learn quickly and remember forever. So you wouldn’t want to be known as an authoritarian who never listens to his/her children or even as a pampering parent.

Today, most of us have very busy lifestyles, with hardly any time to spend with our family. Nevertheless we must spend quality time with our children, in the sense, listen to them, interact with them, and play with them. Most of us think that if we help them in their homework and buy them expensive gifts, our job is done. In reality, a parent’s job is much bigger. It is the most important job in the world.


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